Adolescence is a critical phase in a person’s maturity. At this stage, adolescents start to have special needs as response to various biological and psychosocial maturity. It’s a rapid transitional change in which young adolescents explore and experiment different aspects of their development. For parents, this can be a very delicate situation to deal with mainly because children start to respond differently as a part of the changes they undergo in this page.
That is why it is necessary for parents of adolescent children to fully understand and educate themselves in raising their adolescent children. Here are 7 helpful tips to start with.
• Know more about their generation
Changes that adolescents experience are somehow affected by their environment and the age or generation they live in. If you, as a parent, is disconnected from the world they are living, you will not be able to understand them and their behaviour. As a result, it will be challenging for you to provide their needs.Put an effort in understanding and knowing more about their times. The knowledge you have may no longer be applicable to the current times, so a possible conflict might arise when the understandings do not align.
Young adolescents are more likely to open up to you if they feel that you can understand their situation. If you are not open to the changes that are happening in their times, they will likely be afraid to open up to you and tell you how they feel.
• Strengthen your communication
Talk to your adolescent child. This should actually be done early in their development stage before adolescence. Starting to communicate with them in their adolescence might not be as effective because they have already established a certain degree and level of communication with you over the previous years. Tendency is they will feel uncomfortable to share things that bother them or the changes that they experience. Try to establish and strengthen your communication with them early on.Communication does not mean they are the only one who will open up. Sometimes, as their parents, you must open up first. Make them feel comfortable and assure them that they can trust you. Let them know how you feel. Oftentimes, they feel shy in expressing their emotions, so make the first move. Let them know whenever you miss them. Open the lines for expressing more of our emotions so that they will realise that it is okay to be expressive. A simple miss you message or take care messages can lift up their day especially if it’s from the people who are important to them. If you need some I miss you quotes for her or him.
Leave no space for judgement for whatever change or feeling they are experiencing so that they are more likely to open and communicate with you.
• Try not to impose
They are living in a different age than you. Things are changing, and so are their responses and behaviour. What worked before might no longer be effective now. When your young adolescent thinks of something as a solution to their problems, but you think otherwise, try to reassess the situation instead of immediately imposing on them your perspective. Listen to what they have to say. Let them express their side and understand where they are coming from. As a popular show has mentioned, modern problems require modern solutions. People’s way of addressing and coping changes according to their needs and the condition of the environment they live in. Moreover, the more you oppose them, the more likely they will do it even more. Have a dialog with them and listen to what they have to say.
• Give them the right amount of freedom
The more you try to repress them, the more they will try to break free. Giving them enough freedom does not mean letting them do whatever they want. What it means is allowing them to make their own choices and decisions. Let them think for themselves, but emphasis the importance of dialog, of talking things together to weight the situation.Adolescence period is a transitional phase. Adolescents explore and experiment in their identity, their preferences, and in their overall development. Let them experiment and explore but guide them through it.
• Let them know that you are there
Whatever they are going through, it will mostly be a mix of emotional rollercoaster, confusion, and curiosity. Let them know that you are always with them and that they can count and trust you as their parent. Let them know that you had also been in the same situation, so you can definitely help them understand more about themselves and about the general changes they are experiencing.• Support them
If in the process of exploring about their identity, they find interest in certain things, give them support as long as you know it’s safe for them. Giving them freedom comes with support, too. Giving them freedom does not end in letting them do whatever they want. Follow through with support and guidance. Support them when they succeed and most definitely when they fail. It will make things easier for them—and less unbearable.Be the inspiration they need in this confusing period. Say kind and motivational things to them when you are together. Send them inspirational messages when you are apart. If you’re not sure which one to use or send, you can more inspirational Christian quotes to check out some recommendations. sending them a message, you will remind them to find inspiration so that they will always have a clear mind. In that way, you are also helping them towards their safety and welfare.
• Accept them
At the end of this exploration phase, your young adolescent will eventually come to a conclusion when they finally understand and clear out all the confusion they have. Whatever they discover about themselves, accept them. You are part of their journey, so be proud of what the both of you have worked together to discover. Acceptance and affection regardless of their conclusion makes them even closer to you. Afterall, it’s the most helpful thing you can give to them in this phase of their life.
Regardless, everyone goes through this stage and as their parents, you are the person who knows well what they are going through. Extend to them your support and acceptance in every step of the way.
About the Author
Lea Santiago is a freelance writer and editor at Ponwell.com. She graduated with a degree in Psychology and works fulltime as a research assistant. During her free time, she likes to read, write, watch movies, and play with her five dogs.
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